By: Joy Kita
Images of the ideal homeschool life include smiling, happy children engrossed in an educational activity, working alongside their siblings with grace and maturity and little conflict. Fighting, after all, may be typical for their public schooled peers, but certainly not acceptable behaviour for children taught at h
ome under the watchful eye of mom. Throw in a crackling fire and some hot chocolate, mom busy baking cookies in the kitchen and the picture is perfect-the message intact-homeschooling life is a superior.
Naturally, this is a lie, and it is best for all new homeschooling moms and dads to know the truth, it may not set you free, but it will help your sanity remain intact even it is only safety pins holding the tattered ends together. Children will spend time focused on learning and there very well may be hot chocolate involved, but the idea that they will do this without a well-placed elbow jab to their older brother or a dirty look to their sister is just wishful thinking.
Children, homeschooled or not, will argue and fight, and it is the parents responsibility to understand this fact, embrace it even. Not to lower expectations, but to strengthen their resolve to persevere through the trials all the while building up an arsenal of battle ready skills.
There Will Always Be Conflict
There are moments, magical ones, when the stars align and the planet is in perfect rotation, and the children get along. Savour these times. Watch from a distance and do not interfere. It won’t last. It cannot last. It is not in the make-up of a child to abstain from conflict.
And that is a good thing.
Children learn important things about themselves when conflict arises. Limits are tested, character is shaped and patience stretched. When a child is in school there is little room for conflict, even less for resolution. Children are expected to conform to the structures and policies around them. The same goes for home life too. Families have their own set of policies children are expected to adhere to, but there is room to experiment and room to challenge with the space and time to accept defeat.
How to Handle Sibling Rife
There are ways to keep the bickering to a minimum. When patience is stretched beyond the boundaries of acceptable behaviour, and it is time for parental refereeing, it is important to remember two things:
It is not personal
It will not last forever
Here are eleven useful tips on dealing with the situation:
*Do not pit them against each other with negative comments meant to inspire.
*Build up each of their individual strengths and make them aware of how their differences complement rather than compete.
*Forge friendships by supplying times to get along using mutual interests and hobbies-computer games, sports etc.
*Reward them together so they can share the benefits
*Respect their individual need for space and privacy.
*Ensure alone time, quiet time when they need it.
*Expect arguments and give them space to work it out before getting involved.
*Remove the source of the problem and force quiet time.
*Have clear consequences
*Encourage them to work it out on their own-let them know if a parent has to get involved they will not enjoy the results.
*Reward loyalty.
Your homeschooled children will argue. They will challenge each other, provoke each other, tease and harass. The benefits are that they will also have a higher level of patience for younger siblings, a greater repertoire of problem solving skills, an appreciation for differences, and a pure enjoyment of one another.
From [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Karen_Pasqualucci]Karen Pasqualucci and Joy Kita
Karen Pasqualucci is a passionate (and opinionated) homeschooling mom! She has been homeschooling since 2001 and shares her discoveries and thoughts at her blog: http://www.homeschoolinghowto.com where she would love to hear your questions, comments and feedback! Come on over and get the latest news on homeschooling!
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Homeschooling-How-To---11-Tips-for-Dealing-With-the-Fighting!&id=6741577] Homeschooling How To – 11 Tips for Dealing With the Fighting!
